Keepin' it real

I know how blogs work.  I tell everyone the great side of what I'm doing.  I leave out the coffee grounds I spilled on the floor this morning and the four letter word that may or may not have followed.  I leave out the fact that on some days the house looks like toys r us threw up in it.  I leave out the finger prints that are always on the glass or the fact that there's almost always something in every toilet of my house that nobody seems to think is worth flushing.  I leave out that I'm wearing the same t-shirt I wore yesterday... and last night to sleep in.  And, yes, I did even leave the house in it again today.  Shameful.  I lose my patience.  A lot.  I yell far more than I want to.  I need a good hour of time by myself everyday and when I don't get it, I act like a total moron.
I get so tired of questions.  So. Tired.  My children seem to think they know all the rules of the road.  And sometimes I just don't want to explain to a 4 year old why I can turn even though the light's red.  Why do you care!?  Just sit in your booster seat and sing or something.  This morning we heard on the radio that a tree was down on some random cross streets that I'd never heard of.  Lucy has asked me no less than 5,482 times today where that tree is.  Are we going to see it?  Is it down that street?  Is it still there?  I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT TREE IS!!!!!   I said it nicely, too.  The first 14 times and the last 12 times it was not very nice.  Not. At. All.
We went to Target today and not only did I have to explain that, yes, I said we were going to the grocery store and yes, I realize this is Target, but they also have groceries, so it counts.  Yes it does.  Yes it does.  Shut up shut up shut up!!!  In Target I must have told Lucy 50 times to stay by me so I don't run over her feet.  I don't know how that child manages to walk UNDER the basket, but I promise she does.  I ran over her 4 times today.  4 TIMES!!!!  Learn your lesson, little one!  When you put your feet under the basket, it hurts your feet!!!!  grrrrrr......
Lucy has started really pestering Julianne.  It's not all Lucy's fault, of course.  Julianne has a super-hot temper.  It's that red hair, I tell you.  But she goes from 0-60 fast.  Lucy knows that.  Sometimes it's just too tempting to her to make Juli mad.  And it's super annoying to me.  I hate to hear screaming.  And that's exactly what Julianne does.  She screams.  Loudly.  Usually it's just because Lucy has said something to push her buttons.  On purpose.  Why???  I just said to my children, "Go upstairs.  I don't want to hear your voice right now."  parenting fail.  I can't help it.  I need a time out.
I hope I can get it together here soon.  I have to.  This attitude isn't an option.
Please don't judge.  I am so very thankful for my children.  I really am.  But just like spending a lot of time with anyone.  They start to get on my nerves after a little while.
There.  Today the blog's ugly.  You got the real deal.  No sugar-coating.  No acting like everything is rosy.  Sometimes my life is downright nasty.  Sometimes I'm a major fail as a mom.  And I'm sorry for not being real all the time.  Oh.... and I hired someone to clean my house again.  Because a couple of weeks ago Jason "suggested" that the shower needed to be cleaned.  Yep... you're right.  It does.  I should have done that like 2 weeks ago.  That's gross.  I'll get right on it.  Anything else you want to know the truth about while I'm here in confessional?  Anyone?  :)